New Eyes

July 21, 2015

Welcome Home.

Coming home was a long process. I went through a great length of security in the Barcelona airport to get on my flight to Philadelphia. When I landed in Philadelphia, Obama was also there. All flights were delayed while we waited for his entourage to drive by on the runway. Then, my flight was delayed due to weather, and to top it of, my pilots reached their daily time limit and couldn't work any longer. Needless to say, I was stuck in Philadelphia for the night while my family was waiting for me to arrive at the airport in Grand Rapids. Thankfully, I was able to get a hotel for the night and a flight out early the next morning to Detroit. The wonderful Andrew Kanitz picked me up in Detroit and we had a wonderful reunion. I even got to meet his new nephew, Nikolai, and visit with his sister, Catherine. Andrew drove me back to Fremont, and now here I am.

Traveling does a funny thing when I arrive back home: it keeps going. While I was doing my pilgrimage, we talked about the life of a pilgrim and how we always need to live like pilgrims, constantly seeking after God. Traveling does the same thing. My eyes have been trained all summer to look at my surroundings and see all of the details. I have been trained to acknowledge how beautiful and unique different places, buildings, and people are. My eyes see colors with enhanced vibrancy and pick up on details that they never noticed before. Fremont has always been my home, but sometimes it takes going away to recognize how breath taking of a town it is. Everything is so green. The drive into town is surrounded by wildflowers that add extravagant colors to the grass. Alpine is filled with all kinds of restaurants and shops that are familiar and open any time I could possibly need them. My brother lives right on the way home, and the roads home are wide open and surrounded by so much land. Not to mention how much land is between all of the houses here. Lake Michigan is right down the road and I can stick my toes in fresh water beauty and watch the sunset into nothingness. All of these things are just little details that make me feel at home. I am constantly being astounded at things that once were so normal. The comfort and memories associated with the familiarity are actually extraordinary emotions that allow me to fully feel and help me appreciate who I am, as well as where and how I was raised.

Two of my friends joined me after I had been in Europe for eight weeks. I never fully realized how long eight weeks was until I lived that long in a foreign country, in my second language. When my friends arrived, I was excited beyond words to see them, but I also was exhausted and very excited to return home. Thankfully, I had great travel companions that pushed me through, and I constantly asked God to give me His renewing grace so I could persevere for the last two weeks and fully appreciate what He was doing in my life without being homesick.

Ask and you shall receive. Everyday, I asked God to renew me, to make me new. Everyday, I asked for the ability to fully experience everything that was happening without being held back by my exhaustion and homesickness. Of course He provided tenfold.

Everyday, I woke up so full of joy that I had no choice but to smile. God continuously gave me little reminders that I am loved and taken care of. I saw so many examples of Christ along my way, and got to watch my friends encounter Him in new ways. I got to witness growth in everyone around me as we prayed together and saw various sights that have drawn pilgrims for years. I learned about the lives of saints who have set examples in my life, or are beginning to since my journey began in France. The last two weeks flew by, but I was so unrushed, at peace, and in a state of joy that I was able to embrace each moment and learn along the way without focusing on coming home.

God gave me new eyes. He not only renewed my energy when I asked, but he also renewed my way of looking at things. I learned how to look at how things were being received instead of focusing on what I was trying to say. I became more attentive to detail of artwork, architecture, scenery, and language. I learned that, sometimes, the most important form of communication is non-verbal. I was shown the importance of living simply. Removing baggage and trusting God to care for me in all situations. I was reenforced in acknowledging the power and importance of prayer.

I can't show you the world through my eyes, but I know that we all are on some sort of pilgrimage of our own. We are trying to find purpose and we are seeking after the Kingdom of Heaven. My journey has helped open my eyes, but it doesn't take an extravagant trip to Europe to appreciate our lives how they are today. Sometimes, it just takes a step back. Removing oneself from the normal of everyday life. Looking at life from a new angle. Asking God to renew your soul.

All we really need is prayer, and God will do the rest. He is the one leading this pilgrimage of life after all.


P.S.
I have documented my travels in a journal, and would love to share them with anyone interested. I love coffee. So let me know, and we can make a date of it. =)

"Love without limit"

July 3, 2015

Nevers, France

“Jesus gives everything to the one who has left everything.”

I am still in the process of figuring out how I can leave everything. How I can deny myself and create room in my heart for God to enter more deeply. I am still in the process of letting go of worldly things and committing myself to Christ and virtue. I have a ways to go before I have “left everything,” but I know that as I let go of what keeps me from Christ, He is able to give me His everything, His Love.

As I left Düsseldorf, I sent away some of my luggage and felt my life being simplified. I still have everything I need, and I am able to live a pretty comfortable life out of a backpack and little carry on, but letting go of my luggage has been so freeing.

St. Bernadette lived such a simple life. Her example truly has moved me. The town of Nevers, France was so quaint. It felt wonderful to be in such a quiet, still place after being in a city for so long. The quietness was freeing.

Yesterday afternoon, I had the opportunity to visit the church where St. Bernadette’s body is still fully intact. Being present in the church where Bernadette lived, and seeing her lying there reminded me of all that I have learned through the stories of her life.

Her story contains too many details for me to possibly explain them all, but I’ll try to give you a little summary. St. Bernadette was not born poor, but her family became poor when she was only a child. She lived in poverty, with many health issues, without complaint. When she was a young teenager, the Virgin Mary appeared to her in a Grotto in Lourdes. Bernadette was not well educated due to her poor health. She struggled with persecution since she was not viewed as intelligent, but she always held firm to the truth of her experiences. Many people questioned Bernadette’s story and she always courageously and simply responded with the details of her experience. At the age of 22, St. Bernadette joined the Sisters of Charity in Nevers, France and committed her life to Jesus and her vocation as a religious sister. She passed away in Nevers and was canonized as a saint in 1933. During the process of her canonization, her body was exhumed and found to be intact. Her body remains miraculously preserved in Nevers.

I heard St. Bernadette’s name for the first time at a conference for Catholic University students called SEEK in 2013. There were over 6,000 students at the conference and we had the opportunity to receive confession. During my confession, the priest told me to ask St. Bernadette to pray for me to have courage. I jotted her name down since I hadn’t heard of her before, and I left to pray.

As the years have gone by, I have slowly learned about St. Bernadette and the parallels of our two lives. Her continuous trust in God and willingness to be courageous in sharing His truth has inspired. The experiences and stories of her life have taught me so much about my life and have opened my eyes to ways that I can come to know God more and follow His will more closely.

Don't take a single moment for granted.

July 3, 2015

As I’m writing this, I’m riding on a train through France. It is crazy to think that I am no longer in Germany, but I know I will return again someday. I have fallen in love all over again with the German language, and I am so grateful for the opportunities and the experiences I had in Dusseldorf. The town truly has left footprints on my heart.

While I was living in Düsseldorf, I took the tram a lot to get downtown or to get to school. As I rode by various shops, I always thought: “Oh! I should stop there sometime.” As time tends to do, it went by quickly, and in a flash my study abroad trip had come to an end. I didn’t get to see all of the shops I wanted, or attend all of the events I wanted, but I had so many other experiences.

As I approached the end of my stay in Düsseldorf, I realized how important it is to appreciate each moment. I walked down the street to St. Margareta, the church I attended during my trip, and felt fully present as I realized it was my last time making that walk. On my last night in Düsseldorf, I hung out by the Rhine River with Sammie and William. It was so great to just sit and relax and recognize the beauty of the city that I called home for six weeks.

My time in Düsseldorf felt so normal. I went to school and church. I hung out with my friends and my host family. I did my homework. I practiced piano. I cooked. I read. I did so many things that are normal for my life, that I was able to concentrate on being fully present and grateful each day. While traveling, it is so easy to get caught up in the blur of things. Everything goes by so fast and so much happens that it is easy to lose track of what is happening while it is happening. I am so grateful that I had six weeks in Düsseldorf. The comfort I experienced there allowed me to really soak up everything that I was learning as the trip progressed.

My advice for you: don’t take a single moment for granted.

Six weeks was a great length of time to be in Düsseldorf. I was able to experience so much. On the other hand, I also had a lot more that I could have done. Looking back, I don’t have regrets about what I did or didn’t do. That being said, I realized how important it is to truly be present and embrace the moment that we are living in.

In a blink of an eye, I said goodbye to a beautiful city and the wonderful people I met there. In a blink of an eye, my train drove out of the station and onto my next great adventure. In less than two weeks I will be home, where I can continue my journey with new eyes that have learned how to see things through a multitude of lenses. My moments here in Europe have not been taken for granted, and I have a duty to the knowledge that I have gained through my experiences to continue to learn and grow after I return home.

Alles wird gut

It’s been a while!!

I’ll try to sum up the past two weeks in a nice little blog post. Instead of telling you every detail of what I’ve done, I would like to tell you a little bit more about what I have learned in these past two weeks.

First, a little about what I’ve done. I spent a weekend in Amsterdam. While I was there, I learned what people mean by culture shock. I’ve traveled to foreign countries (I believe Amsterdam made the Netherlands my sixteenth country?), but I have never experienced culture shock quite like this. The pace of the city was way faster than anywhere I’ve ever been. I was there for one night, but I swear it was gone within the blink of an eye. We stayed on a camp ground a ways out of the city which was fun and refreshing.

Another big event within the past two weeks was my host-sister, Nora’s, Abifeiern. The best way to explain this is that she just finished her first 13 years of school (similar to a high school graduation). It was so fun to celebrate with her and see everyone dressed up and celebrating their education. The class of approx. 23 has been together for all thirteen years of schooling, and now they are going their separate ways. It was so fun to see pictures and hear stories about Nora and her friends. We ate, drank, and danced the night away in celebration.

Something else of note is that I went to confession in German. As someone who is always afraid to go to confession, even after convincing myself time and time again there is nothing to be afraid of, I have never felt fear as strong as preparing to give a confession in a foreign language. The good news is, God is full of Grace and love. And His perfect love drives out fear. So, if you ever are afraid of going to confession, I want you to know exactly what the priest said to me when I told him German wasn't my native language: "Alles wird gut." "Everything will be good." The grace that comes from conquering the fear of the confessional, in English or German, is a relief and joy that cannot be described. It can only be experienced. 

So. Now you know a little about what I have done, here is what I have learned.

Going to the Netherlands made me realize how comfortable I have become being surrounded by the German language. It is perfectly normal to use public transportation and shopping in stores where everything is in German. While we were in Amsterdam, everything was in Dutch and English. Even though I could read it in English, it was strange not being able to speak the native language of the country. Living in Germany and speaking German has allowed me to view this culture first hand. I can fully immerse myself in it because I am not bound entirely by language barriers. My German is nowhere near perfect, but the fact that I can communicate with Germans in their native language gives me so much joy. I do not need to rely on them to speak my language; instead I have the joy of understanding them and speaking in a way that they can understand me. Even when my grammar is imperfect and my sentence structure is way out of whack, I am so happy to have the opportunity to try my German and to grow through my mistakes.

This leads me to my next lesson: humility. Learning a language forces me to be humble.  I am forced to speak slowly and use a limited word bank. I do a lot of pointing and stuttering as I try to get my point across. I can’t speak eloquently; I can only speak enough to communicate, but that is enough. I have built relationships solely in the German language, relationships with my host family and classmates. I have lived in a culture so different than mine, that I realize exactly how small I am in this big world. So many people can speak English that it is easy to take language for granted. Living in a German-speaking world has shown me how much bigger the world is. People live in this language and love in this language and it is perfectly normal for them!

I have fallen in love over and over again with the German language. I have been able to accept the fact that my speaking isn’t perfect, but the important thing is that I am communicating. The reason this is so important to me, is that I have such a hard time sometimes putting my thoughts and emotions into words (English or German). After having to fully express myself in another language, I have realized that it doesn’t matter how long it takes me to get my point across, or what word choice I use. If I express myself out of love and with sincere good intention, the words will come and I will be able to communicate. Communication is so important. It is easy to take it for granted, but it is such an incredible gift to be able to build relationships with one another through communication of any kind.

Moral of the above rant: Speak up. Let yourself be heard. Your words are valued and you deserve to be heard.

Speaking of language, there is a funny little word that I think people don’t fully understand. I know that I continue to learn everyday how this word takes effect in our world. The word is idolize. It seems like such a old fashioned biblical word. I remember always thinking about the story of the golden calf and how the people idolized it, and how ridiculous of a thing idolization was. Then I realized how sneaky it is in my life.

What does this have to do with travel?

It is easy to idolize travel. It is so easy to think “If I were somewhere else, I would be happy.” Or “I just need a vacation to clear my mind.” These past two weeks have taught me something crucial: Travel doesn’t make people happy.

I absolutely love traveling, and I am so passionate about taking trips and seeing the world. I am always so happy when I travel, but I have learned that traveling is not the source of this joy. While I am traveling, especially now that I’m traveling on my own, I am completely dependent on God. As soon as I wake up in the morning, I start my day in a foreign language. I walk out the front door and am greeted by signs and maps entirely in German. I walk the streets of the beautiful city of Dusseldorf that has only been my home for six weeks, and I trust that God is with me. I am happy when I travel, that is for sure. This happiness is the joy that comes from placing my trust entirely in God. He is the source of my joy. I have always felt close to God when I travel (Shout out to bus church from 2008 that helped me realize this.) This closeness is an experience that is magnified each time I take a leap of faith and accept that God is much more in control than I am. It is so easy to idolize travel, but it is so fulfilling to recognize the beauty of God’s world and the truth that he is always in control.

The last lesson for today, the one that I have found to be extremely refreshing is gratefulness for my education. The classes I’m taking here have a variety of students. The students in the class are all here because they want to learn German. They may want to learn it to study in Germany or work in Germany or for their university at home, but the point is, they want to learn. We sit in a classroom for four hours every day, and we put in the work so we can better understand the material. Sure we want to pass the test, but it is more important to us that we gain a better understanding of the language. People ask for homework because they want the extra practice. They ask that we practice the most difficult tasks, even when they are not enjoyable, because we have a desire to conquer them.

I am here to learn German, but I have learned so many more valuable lessons in the process, that I couldn’t even list them all if I tried. 

"Gott ist schon da."

Quote from a homily this past week: "Wherever you go, whoever you meet, God is already there."

I feel like so much happens within a week that I can’t possibly remember it all. Thankfully, I am documenting it all in pictures and in my journal so I can share the stories, but it is so hard to believe that such a vast amount of experiences can occur every seven days (which is roughly the time I try to leave between blogging).

Last week, I went to an art museum with Sarah and Jess (fellow EMU students). The evening we went the entrance fee was free. There was an exhibit there that had all sorts of wires and inflatable orbs that people could walk around on. It was 75 meters above the ground. It was a lot of fun! We also got to see an interesting variety of artwork.

Thursday was another Catholic holiday. We celebrated Corpus Christi (auf deutsch: Fronleichnam). It is so incredible to me that the whole country shuts down to celebrate Christ in the Eucharist. I’m curious to know how many of them know that they have the day off for this reason. Mass was celebrated in the town square followed by a Eucharistic processional. Let me repeat that: I got to walk the streets of Düsseldorf with Jesus, and (probably?) a thousand Catholics. The crowd was huge. It is so wonderful to be surrounded by fellow Catholics proclaiming our love for Jesus, and His love for us by being present in the Eucharist. Every day I am reminded how good it is to be Catholic, and how joyful I am for being able to celebrate my Catholic faith even across the ocean.

After celebrating Fronlecihnam, (aka Corpus Christi) my EMU friends and I went on an adventure to find Nordpark. We ended up in a cemetery. While I felt a little like I was trespassing, I do have to say, German cemeteries are gorgeous. It looks as though each grave has its own little garden over it. We eventually made it to Nordpark. There was a huge fountain in part of it that we were able to stick or feet in, walk in, and have a chance to cool down in after a long day in the hot sun. We walked a little further into this giant park and saw some Japanese gardens.

On Saturday, the program I’m going to school through (IIK) held an excursion to Cologne.  Cologne is a beautiful city about 30 minutes from Düsseldorf. There is a giant Cathedral there. Seeing the Cathedral as I stepped out of the train station made me feel so small, and words can’t describe how miniature I felt when I walked through the front door. The architecture of the building contains so much detail, there is always something to see. The holy images and relics inside are beyond words. The bones of the three wise men are in this Cathedral. The Cathedral is 157 meters tall, 87 wide, and 100 long. Giant. 

St. Christopher, Patron of Travelers

Relics of the Three Wise Kings

Relic of St. John Paul II

After the Cathedral, we had a tour of the city. We learned that it was once ruled by the Roman empire. It is right on the Rhine River, and boats stop there before other major cities, which allowed it to have first pick of all of the goods that came by ship. This gave it an advantage that helped it become rich quickly and efficiently. We saw the old city and learned about its important role in the fish market. We also stopped at a little perfume market that is supposedly famous, called 4711.

Our tour led us to the Cologne City Museum. We spent a long time in there learning about the history of Cologne. Ford Automobiles played a role in the history of Cologne, so there were some displays of Ford cars. There also were some displays of Nazi Germany. The tour guide did a great job explaining the importance of learning about this dark time in history. Cologne has a rich history from the Middle Ages. The city was very Catholic, and that is reflected in the museum. There are relics there of St. Ursula and the 11,000 virgins who were martyred on their way back into Cologne. There also were some holy statues from the Middle Ages on display. Among all of these Middle Ages were the knights and their various weapons and armor. I even got to try on a suit of armor!

Relics of the 11,000 Virgins

Podium that JFK gave his speech on in Cologne

St. Christopher

St. Ursula

After museum, we got a much needed lunch. (It was 3:30pm, hot out, and we had been on our feet all day). We ate at Früh, a restaurant with typical German food.  I had Fleischkäse (basically a couple slabs of meat) with potatoes, gravy, and fried onions on top. We also had a couple rounds of Kölsch, the typical beer of Cologne. Tastey and Fun.

How the waiter kept the tab (don't worry, there were a lot of us.)

After our lunch, we exercised a bit by climbing the 533 stairs to the top of the tower of the Cologne Cathedral. I did this once before in 2010, but am happy I got to do it again. It is a great view! (The sense of accomplishment afterwards is also pretty great).

After the train ride home, I decided to get of the Tram early and walk the last 10 minutes since it was so nice out. As I was walking home, I saw some people dressed nicely carrying instruments walking towards my church. I decided I would hang around and see what happened. I still don’t know exactly what happened, but there was some sort of ceremony thing followed by a parade.  Either way, I got to see some German Marching Bands.

Sunday there was another Eucharistic processional after mass. This time is was through the part of the city I live in, Gerresheim. Again, it was incredible to be surrounded by so many Catholics. It also was fun to see parts of town that I had never seen before.

In case you were wondering, I am still going to class. The grammar part of this class is new for me, so it is a little more challenging. We have been discussing our different cultures a lot which is absolutely fascinating for me.

Bis Später!